Note: Nancy is a fibromyalgia patient from California. She has led many self-help groups, including being a moderator in the CFIDS and Fibromyalgia Self-Help Program.

I used to think of routines as unpleasant and restrictive, but since becoming ill, I have found that they are essential to my quality of life. I have learned that far from being unpleasant straight jackets, routines are a way to make the best use of my time and my energy.

How Illness Changed My Ideas about Routine

I used to think it was confining to do a certain thing at a certain time every day or to keep projects tidy while I worked on them. I also resented being "a slave to the clock," and I imagined that I had more freedom when I acted on impulse instead of carefully planning my time. But all those beliefs changed when I got sick.

Illness imposed limits on me and I learned that I have to measure out my daily energy very carefully. I do this through such practices as having a daily schedule, getting regular exercise, taking my medicines, and eating a healthy diet.

In all this, having habitual actions and routines enables me to use discipline to get the most out of my limited energy. Using regular routines is a way to take good care of myself and, also, a source of pride.

My Routines

Even though I'm a great believer in the usefulness of routines, I recognize that each person will have to develop ones that fit his or her unique situation. As one example, here are some of the routines that help me:

• Laying out a complete outfit (including underwear and socks) the night before. If I know I will be extra busy for several days in a row, I assemble several complete outfits on hangers.
   
• Breaking up my bedtime routines into several parts, doing some of them early in the evening, some later, and a few just before bedtime. For example, I have my clothes laid out and my CPAP humidifier filled early in the evening. (See next item for an explanation of CPAP.)
  
  I shower and put on a robe after dinner. I take my evening medications when I shower. At bedtime I just have to get into sleep wear and put on my CPAP mask.
   
• Having a set time to maintain my CPAP and fill its humidifier. (I have sleep apnea, which means that my airway collapses when I fall deeply asleep, cutting off my breath. To counteract this, I use a small machine called a CPAP, which stands for Continuous Positive Airway Pressure.
  
  A hose connects the machine to a mask I wear tightly over my mouth and nose during the night. The CPAP blows pressurized air up my nose all night, "splinting" my airway open. Because the airway is clear, I don't experience apneas, or periods of no breathing.)
   
• Doing my swimming in the early evening. On the days I swim, I can shower once, at the pool, saving getting wet twice.
   
• Pacing my level of physical activity. For example, I skip swimming if my active grandsons are coming for a visit. I remind myself that the purpose of exercise is to build up my health, so I don't want to tear it down by overdoing it.
   
• Taking my morning medications and getting fully dressed before I leave the bedroom in the morning.
   
• Keeping a short hairdo that needs little maintenance.
   
• Buying clothes that are easy to put on (front-hook bras, and socks that go on easily, for example). I also buy easy-to-care-for clothes. I save time by minimizing hand washing and ironing.
   
• Using a stool in the shower and another one in the kitchen.
   
• Keeping track of activities and appointments in a 3" X 4" notebook that I carry in my handbag. I always have it on hand, so I can make entries immediately.
   
• Keeping two sports bottles of water at places in the house where I sit. I used to keep just one in each location, but then I was always having to get up to refill it or (worse!) asking my husband to do it for me.
  
  I found that when I used two bottles I could set out the empty one to take with me when I had to get up for some other reason. I could refill it and return it before the second one was empty.
   
• Buying a new appointment book each fall, and entering into it family birthdays, and anniversaries. In the back of the book I list phone numbers for my GP, my pharmacy, my vet, my medical equipment provider, my scooter repair person, and nearby family and friends.
   
• Putting things away as soon as I am through with them, such as disposing of the newspaper as soon as I finish reading it, and carrying my plate to the sink after a meal. This means disciplining myself not to just set something down anywhere but instead to put it in its proper place.
   
• Doing big tasks in stages with rests in between. For example, if I have lots of things to put away after grocery shopping, I will put the frozen goods in the freezer, then take a rest; put other items in the refrigerator, then take a rest; etc.
   
• Sorting the mail as soon as I bring it into the house, and putting much of it directly into the waste basket. I have a set place for bills and another for magazines or other mail I want to read later.
   
• Having "transfer stations" at various places in my house where I can leave items destined to go somewhere else. I leave items on the hall table that are eventually going to the bedroom, for example. I pick them up and take them with me when I have to go back there, saving me an extra trip just to put them away.
   
• Glancing around before I stand up to see if I can take any misplaced items with me. On bad days it seems that the only housework I accomplish is keeping things in their places. But that is important!
   
• Getting rid of clutter. At one time, our house became so messy that I was embarrassed to have people over. But, by making changes a little bit at a time, I was able to create a neat and orderly house. (See the article "Illness and Housekeeping.")
   
• Keeping meals simple. My rule is that I should have no more than one complicated dish (such as a salad or a casserole) and the other items have to be easy to fix, such as frozen vegetables or pre-baked rolls.
   
• Putting left over cooking ingredients away while I am cooking, and soaking pots and pans as soon as they are emptied.
   
• Clearing the table after meals by having each person takes his or her own plate (and maybe a serving dish or two) to the sink.
   
• Wiping up spills and dirty footprints quickly.
   
• Keeping the laundry from piling up by doing a load or two as soon as the hampers begin to fill. I have a set of three canvas laundry bags hanging on a rack: one for dark colors, one for whites, and one for medium colors. As soon as one fills up, I wash that load.
   
• Folding laundry while sitting on a bench by the bureaus in the bedroom, and putting folded clothes directly into the drawers. I keep a box of hangers nearby, and I put clothes for the closets on hangers as I take them out of the laundry basket.
   
• Setting aside two fifteen-minute periods a day for meditating, and adding extra rest periods when my energy is low.
   
• Whenever possible, planning errands and shopping trips so I can stay at home at least every other day

Dealing with the Unexpected

All too frequently, something unexpected comes up that adds to my burden of stress and drains my already limited physical and emotional energy. I have found that my routines help me deal with such events.

A big part of my approach to unexpected events are to prepare for them. If I am usually living within my energy envelope and keeping up with tasks like laundry and shopping, I have a reserve for dealing with extra demands.

And, even when I am in the middle of a crisis, I take care not to schedule myself so tightly that I don't have time to increase my rest periods if necessary. Also, I make sure to go to bed at the same time each night and to stay in bed for nine hours.

Sometimes I have a bad week, with too many responsibilities and a rebound of my symptoms. I respond by setting a target, a short-term goal designed to help me get through the week.

"Bad Week" targets can be things like scheduling one or two fifteen-minute rests each day, scaling back on an activity that is apt to push me outside my energy envelope, saying "no" to requests, promising myself something rewarding such as time in the back yard hammock, delegating tasks to others, getting to bed on time, or listening to relaxing music.

Setting an achievable target when everything seems to be sliding downhill improves my outlook. It gives me a positive way I can cope and a reason to congratulate myself!

Conclusion

The result of my efforts to incorporate discipline into my life was the realization that routines, far from confining me, grant me the energy and the time I need to live a happy and worthwhile life.

My use of routines was part of a general coping strategy I have used: to see my situation in terms of challenges rather than afflictions. I try to find a way to turn each problem into a growth opportunity. Adopting routines as a response to having less energy was one of those opportunities.

Related Article

• Illness and Housekeeping
  Housekeeping can feel overwhelming when you're ill. In this article, Nancy describes her success in organizing her house.